Happy Never After?

I feel like a child. Enviously looking at another child, holding the largest, most colorful and most delicious looking candy I've ever seen. Well, I could obviously put it to better use than her. Than just staring at it and pretending to appreciate it. I can eat it, relish it, because I know what it's worth.

I feel crippled. Looking at people around me never appreciating what they have, knowing that people like me don't have what they do. If I could, I would do so many things. For myself, for others, for the world. Yet, they never realize the value of what they have.

Have you ever felt that way? When what you don't have, is a person. When you see someone else treat that person so horribly, and they're too blind and still hope they'll find their happiness with them? Have you ever wanted to tell that person, "No, stupid. It's me. I'm your 'Happy Ever After.' I'll treat you the way you need to be treated. I'll love you for who you are. I'll value you, I'll love you. I'll be everything you ever need."

They're obviously so much better off with you than with the person who takes them for granted. But when will they realize that? Will it be too late? You won't let it be too late. But you can't wait forever. Or can you? Because you deserve your 'Happy Ever After.' Or do you? And does it even exist?

Your possibilities of winning this war, are null. But you can't back down now, you've given in everything.
Your mind? Well, it's telling you to shut up and move on. To step into the real world.
But what about that fist-sized heart that always wins? It's telling you to still hope. To stay in the world of fairy-tales because 'Happy Ever Afters' do exist.The heart always wins. It keeps you hoping. And makes you stay in the world of fairy-tales a little longer (and longer), just to see what happens next. So you wait (and wait), with a broken spirit, a broken heart. That hopes that someone comes its way, and takes all the pain away.

---x---

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing

With a broken heart that's still beating

In the pain, there is healing

In your name I find meaning

So I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on

I'm barely holdin' on to you

Broken, Lifehouse.

Déjà vu.

I closed my eyes and the most vivid images crossed my mind. I was blinded by unforgettable and intense memories- few that made me smile, some that brought tears to my eyes and the others, made me shudder with horror. I couldn't understand why these memories were coming back to me. I tried to open my eyes, but somehow my eyelids became heavy and glued shut. I could not understand what was happening. Suddenly I couldn't feel myself anymore. All I can remember was that I fell with a loud thud.

I woke up to a peculiar music. I struggled a little and finally opened my eyes. I looked at my hands, they were scarred and so were my arms. I felt the strangest feeling of Déjà vu. I finally realised where I was and things slowly started to take shape. I was in a place I had sworn I would never go to again. I was in the cursed castle. I don't know what had taken me there. Wasn't the curse broken long ago? Wasn't I free? Painful surges of adrenaline twitched in my veins and I felt as though someone had pumped poison into my bloodstream.

Is this just a dream? Will I wake up from my sleep safe and secure with the ones I love? There was only one way to find out. I slowly pushed against the cold stone floor where I lay and with pain I lifted myself up. I glanced around and things looked the same way they looked 5 years ago. The satin violet curtains still eerily embellished the horrid windows and the grey stone floor still had the same strange shine. Each wall had two fire torches on the upper corners and the wooden door looked like it was locked up for a million years. I looked out of the window, but the night was pitch black. So I cautiously walked towards the door, crossing my heart and hoping she wasn't there.

But just as I opened the door, she gave me the wicked smile she always did. Adreana D'Ville. The name that made me scimper and shiver no matter where I was. The name that gave me goosebumps no matter in what context I heard it. The one person who could even make my sweetest memory the worst. She was standing right in front of me and all I wished to do was run. But my feet were fastened to the floor as if someone had used the most strongest adhesive in the world and glued my feet down to the cold stone. I was paralyzed.